


Fuck You, Chad

by 3ALover



Series: 3ALover Mpreg [8]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Comedy, Exhibitionism, M/M, Porn With Plot, Smut, based on a tweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-07 03:20:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18864676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3ALover/pseuds/3ALover
Summary: Yuzuru and Javier plan a romantic night in the Jacuzzi. When their creepy neighbor spies on them, they decide to just shame him for his terrible record (per his wife) in bed by going at it while knowing he's watching.





	Fuck You, Chad

**Author's Note:**

> This whole thing is based on a tweet in the [#YuzuruTheHouseHusband](https://twitter.com/hashtag/YuzuruTheHouseHusband?src=hash) tag on twitter.
> 
> Which reads:  
> "Yeah, I see you over there, Chad, with your binoculars. And we saw you last night when we were in the jacuzzi. Hope you enjoyed the show, because if I know your wife Joyce that’s all the stimulation you’re gonna get this week."
> 
> .... this might easily become a whole series.

“Alright,” Yuzuru said, checking the basket in his hand. “Baby monitor, check. Wine, check. Glasses cases since we’re both blind as bats, check. Condoms so we don’t get cum in the jacuzzi and have to drain it and waste water, check-“

“Wow, this is sounding more romantic by the second,” Javier said dryly and Yuzuru gave him a flat look.

“Being prepared is sexy if you look at it as being competent at something,” he countered. He put his hands on his hips and walked around the kitchen island. “Besides, would you rather _not_ try something different?” he asked pointedly.

Javier smiled and stepped closer, sliding his hands around Yuzuru’s tiny waist. “I’m teasing, Nene.” He kissed Yuzuru’s cheek. “Come on. When is the last time we did something romantic? Why would I turn down your idea?”

Yuzuru pecked his lips, their glasses clacking together. “I really wish contacts plus chlorine wasn’t such a bad idea,” he said grumpily, but stepped back to grab the basket of items. “Come on, Babe,” he said, and Javier took his hand and let him lead the way to the back door. 

Javier and Yuzuru’s house was a big, classic western home. They had a large back lawn, a nice bricked patio with a barbecue and patio furniture, and the best part, they had a jacuzzi beside their swimming pool. They bought it not long after the triplets came, because their old home just wasn’t made for a family of six. They really liked their neighborhood and the schools in the area were great. Also, it was close enough to the rink and the school that Javier and Jason could carpool to work and Yuzuru and Shoma could walk their kids to their school. Yuzuru never imagined when he was younger he would end up living the suburban Canadian family lifestyle, but he loved it.

Tonight, however, he wasn’t just ‘Yuzuru, the guy with four kids and a perfectly decorated house’, he was Yuzuru Hanyu-Fernandez, the vixen that managed to marry the most gorgeous figure skater in history and lock down that hot body for the rest of his life where no woman would ever again touch his man. 

They had never really been adventurous about their sex life, and with a five-year-old and a set of two year old triplets, they pretty much had a ‘oh my god, the kids are all asleep, fast, stick it in me!’ quickie every week or so (if they were lucky). Tonight, however, the kids were all in bed, for the past week straight the triplets were all doing well about not waking up wanting hugs or being scared of the dark, and Yuzuru and Javier were going to skinny-dip in their jacuzzi and fool around like they did when they were dating and childless. 

Yuzuru made a show of taking off his glasses beside the jacuzzi and then turning around to face Javier and slowly sliding his robe off while he looked back over his shoulder seductively as he let it drop, revealing his naked backside. Javier sighed. “God, the things you do to me,” he said, eyes going down to Yuzuru’s long, slender legs and round, perfect ass. Yuzuru just crooked a finger at him as he stepped into the jacuzzi. Javier wasted no time stripping and following him. “Come here,” he growled playfully and Yuzuru giggled and splashed him, but didn’t stop Javier from pulling him into his side, curling an arm around his shoulders. 

Yuzuru hummed, snuggling into his husband’s body, curling his arms around his middle under the water. “Warm,” he mumbled, laying his chin on Javier’s shoulder to look at him up close. 

Javier grinned. “You have good ideas,” he said, then reached back to grab the bottle of wine and their glasses (plastic and pool safe, Yuzuru wasn’t the president of the PTA for poor planning skills) and let go of Yuzuru just long enough to pour them both a glass. “Here you go, mi vida,” he said, and Yuzuru thanked him as they both settled back, cuddling as they clinked their glasses.

“Ahhhhh, this is nice,” Yuzuru said, sipping his wine as he looked at Javier’s profile. He planned to spend a few minutes of peace and quite drinking wine and cuddling, but once his glass was empty, he was going to have his way with that gorgeous man. 

“Oh no, damn it.” Javier glared up at something in the distance and Yuzuru frowned.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

Javier scoffed. “That asshole Chad is absolutely watching us out of his upstairs window! What a pervert,” he said, glowering in that direction. “I think he even has binoculars if that glint I keep seeing is what I think it is.”

Yuzuru felt a rush of anger, but then he was stuck by a realization. “Oh this is perfect!” Yuzuru smirked at Javier. “Wanna do something really dirty and show off for him?”

“What?! Why? NO?” Javier asked in confusion, looking at him like he was insane.

Yuzuru grinned evilly and leaned in, nipping at his earlobe before whispering, “We can show him what he could have if he wasn’t so terrible in bed that his wife only lets him touch her on his birthday.”

“Wait, really?” Javier asked, looking at him in surprise.

Yuzuru snickered deviously. “Joyce got drunk at book club night at Sheila’s house and admitted Chad wouldn’t be able to find a clitoris with a map and has never lasted more than three minutes, and that’s if he’s had a drink beforehand.” Yuzuru kissed his neck. 

Javier snorted. “Wow, what a shitty husband,” he said, then hesitated. “But really? Exhibitionism?”

Yuzuru hummed. “He won’t be able to see anything with the water. Not really.” He found Javier’s cock under the water and Javier grunted slightly at the surprise touch. “Didn’t you want to be adventurous, Jabi?” he asked, slipping back into his old inability to say Javier’s name right. Javier’s eyes darkened just as he knew they would. 

“Well. He does keep blowing his leaves over the fence onto our lawn. He kinda deserves mocking,” he said, and Yuzuru’s evil grin grew very, very smug.

“Let’s show him how much better of a husband you are than him,” he said, moving to crawl into Javier’s lap and straddle him. He kissed him and added a filthy, lewd moan as Javier grabbed his ass and squeezed it. 

“Fuck, Yuzu,” he moaned against his lips. He slid his fingers between Yuzuru’s cheeks and was surprised to find him already loose. “Really?”

Yuzuru giggled. “What? I didn’t want us to get lube in the jacuzzi, that’s just asking for someone to fall and drown.” He moved and rolled his hips against Javier’s. “Just grab a condom and put it in when you’re ready.” Yuzuru had bought condoms just for this occasion. After the triplets, Javier had a vasectomy to make sure they didn’t end up like Jason and Shoma with six fucking children, so they didn’t need them. However, he was _not_ draining their jacuzzi just because they wanted to fuck in it. 

Javier grabbed two of them and Yuzuru wasted no time putting his on and then putting one on Javier. He lifted himself up some pointedly and Javier wasted no time diving in and sucking bruises along his collar bones. Yuzuru moaned, letting his head fall back, rubbing himself against Javier’s stomach slightly while Javier pleasured him. When Javier ducked down and licked his nipple Yuzuru gasped and slid a hand into Javier’s curls. “Jabiiii,” he moaned, shivering as the cool air chilled his wet skin. “Oh Javi,” he panted as Javier paid his other nipple attention. 

Knowing they were being watched, Javier and Yuzuru both put on a bit of a show even if Chad definitely couldn’t hear them. “If he wasn’t watching, I would bend you over the side of the jacuzzi and eat your ass until you screamed for me,” he growled and Yuzuru shivered for a whole different reason. 

“Jabi, please,” he panted, looking down into his big, beautiful brown eyes. “Please, Jabi.”

Javier grabbed his hips and positioned him so he could sit down on Javier’s cock, taking it in. It was a little bit of a sting, being underwater with only the lube already inside of him, but Yuzuru could take it. He was a retired figure skater, that little twinge was nothing to the pain he grew up with every day. “Fuuuuuuck,” Javier groaned once he was buried inside Yuzuru. He kissed him in a dramatic, sloppy way that Yuzuru kind of liked. Yuzuru sank a hand into Javier’s hair and wrapped the other around his shoulders, gasping as Javier helped him start a rhythm to ride him. 

“Oh _yes_ ,” Yuzuru moaned. He looked down into Javier’s eyes, their foreheads together and breaths mingling as they built a slow, steady rhythm. “You’re fucking amazing, Javi,” Yuzuru groaned, and Javier’s pupils dilated even more.

It was weirdly intimate even though they knew they were being watched and it shouldn’t be, but the way their breaths mingled and their eyes stayed locked as they slowly fucked in the warm jacuzzi with the only sounds being the bubbling of the jets and their breath in the stillness of the night was pretty romantic. The light from the underwater lights were all that illuminated them, so their features were sharp and stark. Yuzuru cupped Javier’s jaw in his hand and kissed him, unable to help himself. Javier’s groan made him Yuzuru’s blood heat in the best way and he couldn’t help but speed up the pace. Javier didn’t seem to have a problem with that, gripping handfuls of Yuzuru’s ass as he snapped his hips up into him, meeting him at every thrust.

“Oh fuck,” Yuzuru choked out, gasping when the new angle made him see stars. “Oh fuck, Javi!” he cried out. He knew he was being too loud to be outside, but it was their back lawn, their property, and it wasn’t a crime to have sex wherever they wanted to as long as they were behind their tall fence. Anybody who saw would be a pervert, like Chad, who looked out the windows and spied on them. Thinking about Chad gave Yuzuru an idea and he smirked. “Oh YES!” he cried, gasping and arching his back dramatically. He was never so loud, what with kids in the house, but Javier seemed to know what he was doing, so he just moaned with every thrust as well. “Oh Javi, yes, yes, fuck! Your cock is so good! Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me!”

“This is so wrong, but fuck you’re so hot like this,” Javier growled as he sucked on his throat, making Yuzuru whine high and loud. “We haven’t fucked like this in years-“

“Oh my God, right there, right there!” Yuzuru interrupted, shuddering in a way that let Javier know he wasn’t acting about how good it felt. Javier felt pride in knowing he could still give it to Yuzuru so good in spite of how long they had been together. “I’m gonna come, OH GOD!” Yuzuru cried out. “Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t STOP!” He gasped, scrabbling to hang onto Javier’s wet shoulders and back. “I’M COMING OH FUCK ME, JAVI!” he wailed, and Javier gasped as Yuzuru’s nails dug into his back and shoulders as he came, ass clencing around his cock in a way that made him only need a few more thrusts to follow with a loud, hoarse groan.

Yuzuru collapsed against Javier, head on his shoulder as he panted and shivered through the aftershocks of probably the best orgasm he had in at least three years. “Oh my God. That was- oh God.”

Javier chuckled hoarsely and Yuzuru whimpered because it made Javier twitch inside of him and he was too sensitive. “Sorry, Cari.” He gently lifted Yuzuru off of him and Yuzuru flopped on his chest again. “Damn. That good?”

Yuzuru sighed and pressed a lazy kiss to Javier’s shoulder. “I haven’t come that hard since before the triplets. Fuck.” He looked down and giggled. “Shit, I cut the hell out of your back. I should have clipped my nails before we did this.”

“Eh, it’s fine. It’s above the waterline,” Javier said, rubbing his back in long, sweeping strokes. Yuzuru felt kisses along his shoulder. “Chad isn’t there anymore. I bet he felt so inadequate he ran away to lick his wounds.”

“Or jerk off thinking about how much he misses sex,” Yuzuru said with a devious giggle. He sat up and looked at his husband, who looked just as fucked out as he felt. “That was fun. And dirty. And we’ll know if he hung around to watch if he can’t meet your eyes when you take out the trash in the morning,” he purred, leaning in to peck Javier’s lips.

Javier sighed against his mouth. “I love you, Yuzu.”

“Mmmm, love you, too,” Yuzuru murmured. “Also, now I’m very sleepy. God, I’m getting old. Remember when we could fuck all night and never get tired?”

Javier chuckled. “Every gray hair I find when I shave in the morning is a reminder of how old I’m getting. When your facial hair goes gray, that’s how you know.” 

They got out of the jacuzzi and cleaned themselves up before heading inside to go get some sleep and, hopefully, not have a child wake up and ruin their much needed rest.

~

When Yuzuru got home from picking up Sara from school, he noticed Chad trimming the hedges. Chad looked up and Yuzuru smirked and made hand-glasses at him to let him know they saw him. Chad’s eyes widened and he dropped his clippers on his foot, then hopped around cursing and blushing.

Yuzuru cackled evilly as he walked up the steps, ignoring the kids looking at him like he was a madman.


End file.
